Perhaps the drought is ending

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After all, some words are flowing from my fingertips this morning , even if they aren’t the perfect ending to my latest short story or the organized middle to my long awaited novel. I have heard writers talk about their characters almost like they were real people and I would imagine to portray them believably in narratives, they would have to be as close as one could get them,correct? Perhaps not in stories about super heroes , most of us don’t have men who fly through the air and can see through buildings hanging about in our lives but even Superman, as portrayed by Christopher Reeves , was shown to have an all too human type of emotion.My problem ,as I see it, has been a reluctance to finish and let go, to send my characters out into the cold,cruel world and have others treat them with indifference and contempt. They were born in my creative and chaotic mind so any unjust criticism (notice I said “unjust” ,not constructive which is always welcome!) is a personal affront but as a very wise person once said, writers must develop a thick skin and let the slings and arrows bounce off …or words to that effect, I do tend to paraphrase when my spotty memory lets me down. I am sitting here, drinking my rapidly cooling,most excellent second cup of coffee and contemplating my colorful cast of characters ,milling about in the waiting room of my imagination,muttering about how long they have been waiting to break free and show themselves to the outside world of which they show no fear of. Fear is the worst enemy of any artist or writer,musician and so on as it can cripple and silence  and ,sometimes, keep from the world something truly incredible and enriching. So, as the trickle becomes a stream and the stream becomes a creek, maybe the creek shall turn into a mighty river or the scant raindrops become a steady rainstorm(for those who insist on continuity in my theme!) and on this day as we remember and give thanks for those who fought and sometimes sacrificed their very lives for us, my drought of words shall end and my characters defeat the fear that keeps them confined!  Have a marvelous day today!

Just another ripple…

ripplesLife is just that way. Just as one thinks the waters are smooth and might stay that way, here comes some bozo and another stone is thrown in the middle of the lake or the wind picks up and the ripples start. Now if no more stones are thrown, those ripples will eventually stop but the wind is a much different story. On a truly windy day, that water could stay rippled all day long into the night and during hurricane season, well any duck sitting on that body of winter would need Dramamine to keep down their dinner. While it is soothing to gaze into a smooth body of water, one free of ripples or drama,life is simply not that way, never really has been but as long as there’s a balance, a stretch of smooth followed by ripples and so on, we adapt and so does the duck. Right now, we have ripples,major ripples and it may be “hurricane season” again eventually but “God willing and the creek don’t rise” we will get through it. Have faith,have another cup of coffee and quit chunking stones. Good morning. Continue reading

If it’s not right for me….

40114_1679836558024_1300835408_31873518_7302411_n If it is not right for me to do it, then it stands to reason it is also not right for you to do the same as well, but I am finding a double standard these days.So many seem to be saying one things and yet ,when one looks at what they actually do, their actions do not match their words. We are all guilty ,to one extent  or other, of doing the same thing but when one is a leader or  spiritual adviser , then a much higher standard must be adhered to. Do not condemn me for making mistakes and being human when you are unwilling to turn the same mirror back around and peruse your own soul for dark actions. Do not condemn those in the past for their mistakes and sins when you are basically doing the exact same thing yourself. Just because you’re wearing a different “robe” or “skin”  or even a different  “sex” does not give you a free pass to commit the same sin or injustice you rail against. The old saying  ” Two wrongs don’t make a right” is actually very true. The very public actions of some alleged “leaders”  would not make those in our past proud, but instead cause them to ask ” Was my death for naught?”.  Something to think about but most won’t. Good morning.

Everything old is new again….

misc pics 052Well,sort of new. I am starting to see signs of my paternal grandmother when I look in my bathroom mirror. I have since childhood grown used to being told I resemble my maternal grandmother but never thought I bore much resemblance to my Nanny Holmes until just recently. It’s not as pronounced, mind you, but it is there. One of my earliest memories of Nanny was her eyes twinkling through the screen door as she bent down to peer at me when we came to visit. I’m not sure if my eyes twinkle exactly like hers but when I put my ever thinning hair up in a tiny bun on the top of my head like she was prone to do, I see her. She was born in a much different time than I was , but given how things are going these days, I think she might just make the statement “everything old is new again” herself meaning this time is really starting to resemble the time surrounding my birth.  The sayings , “here we go again”, “same song second verse” come to mind but ,for today,I am just going to concentrate on the “old” is “new” again in me. The old love and joy shown by my Nanny is new again  in me and that, my family and friends, is a very good thing! Good morning.

Oh! Her?

misc pics 017Yes, the girl who thought she could stay out all day under the sun and not get sunburned.Back in the days of baby oil slathered on without thought of skin cancer or a future of skin texture like a leather saddle bag, I spent a fun filled day out under the warm sun, splashing and playing in the apartment complex swimming pool. Now I forgot about the reflective ability of clear water. At 15 years of age, all that occupied my mind was how cute a certain young blonde guy was and how much fun I was having. Some thought other things were rambling around in that brain case but no, just how cute Joe was and how great it was to be swimming in a nice clean pool instead of a muddy creek . At any rate by the days end, the area of my upper back  looked liked some one had painted it a bright vermilion . Two rounded splotches of pain stayed on my back for days. As my quirky memory tells me, it was almost a 3rd degree burn but back then, I just knew it hurt like heck. Now having told that, do I have the dreaded skin cancer yet? No, not yet but the possibility of it in my future is possible  but so far I’m  free and while my skin is a bit dry these days, that’s more hormones than over tanning. So I still use baby oil but in warm baths that soften the skin and ease the pain of arthritis. I still swim ,though not often,but slather sun block everywhere I can reach by hand or spray  and I still have fun but mostly inside sitting in front of this computer monitor  or wrangling kids who always make my heart grow stronger and so full of love . Oh yeah, I didn’t hide the keys,I found them,under a Kleenex(now who was going around with one in her hand? Not me!) but that ship has sailed and the milk has spilled and I’m just thankful to still be here to remember it! Good morning

Just me and a baby

misc pics 003 Well not just any baby,this baby has grown up into a very talented and accomplished woman. The culinary confections that come from her hands are not only tasty but amazingly decorated. She has a very warm and loving heart and a capacity for fun that spreads outward to those around her and causes smiles ,chuckles and grins to pop out all over! Well, I’m her aunt and that is how I see her, my perspective is just what I have written,matter of fact she reminds me of another relative who had those very qualities. This crazy world has lost so many wonderful people but as painful as those losses are, there are others to help fill in the gap where those marvelous souls once stood. No, they’re not the same person lost nor do they cause all the pain to go away. In some cases, the pain is a constant companion but in my opinion and in my experience, it lightens the heavy load of sorrow and angst to see a smile or hear unfettered laughter ,to receive a warm hug  even if it is not from the person I so wish it could be. Good morning.

The picture does tell a story… if you know all the facts

misc pics 020 I found myself recounting to my oldest daughter the story not told by this photograph. The picture shows me as a toddler sitting on an inner tube. One could wonder why I don’t look so happy and make statements about “tired toddlers” or  “spoiled brats not getting their way and being in  time  out” but ,as much as I wish that had been the case,it wasn’t. The fact is that this  little girl looking rather sad, was suffering from, what my mother and a lot of family have told me over the years,  bad plumbing! Bad plumbing in that my inner workings just don’t look quite the same as the normal rule. Happened in utero and if my family doctor at the time had done what he should have, we might not have known until I was much older but he didn’t and it came down to do an invasive reworking of those tubes and bladder and kidneys or say good bye in three months and my parents opted to be brave and have faith and say yes for which most of the time I am extremely grateful. Nowadays, they probably do to babies in the womb, the same type of surgery they did to me but in the early 60’s ,it was still not necessarily done to one so young, especially in this part of the country so yes, it is a big deal to me. I owe my life and those of my children and grandchildren to two parents ,brave and loving and two brilliant and caring doctors( thank you Dr Garner and Dr Howse!) and an extended family and caring community who “circled the wagons” and helped  support  us during those times with prayer and love . I have no memory of that time except what I have been told but I do have a permanent reminder of a temporary affliction and I will never stop saying thank you to those who kept me alive! Good morning!