The light came on

ImageNo, a wee ghostie didn’t flick the switch or an electrical short turn on a bedside lamp, that I could handle. Oh no, it was a dream that woke me from a restful sleep. A dream that so unsettled me that it has driven me and my arthritic fingers to the keyboard and I’ll attempt, as best I can, to recount the details to you but it’s not so much the words that would help anyone else understand why this particular dream upset me, it’s the feelings I was experiencing during the dream and it may be that one would have to be me to truly understand but here goes. I was much younger and still married to the one who came before (inside joke!) and I had been gone  from the house ,visiting and helping out various relatives. I had come back to this huge old house he had found for us and he had made this seafood dinner which was nice and thoughtful and he had even moved and unpacked all our belongings which was really sweet but when i walked into the bedroom which ,in my dream, should have contained my sleigh bed and all the furniture I now own, it had been replaced with all new items and they were pretty and shining and brand new . By now, you are going, ” What a great dream,why would that upset her?” Well, unless you’ve ever seen the movie ,”The Quiet Man” with John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara, you might not understand but  in my dream, he had sold off what gave me a sense of self, “A bit of me”, my brideprice if you will and maybe in the dream ,my subconscious knew that the furniture was things I had bought ,not him and gave me a sense of being an equal partner  which is important in a  marriage or even in just a friendship. I’m not saying that being a stay at home mom and cleaning house and changing diapers shouldn’t count as equal to leaving each day to a job that pays the bills, it should but sometimes ,we need something, which in my dream was furnishings, to give us a sense of self worth and make it easier to handle the financial inequity. Have I thoroughly confused you and left you rolling your eyes and scratching your heads in confusion, well, twas not my intent but perhaps I might make you think and contemplate  and sometimes that’s a good thing. Living in the past might not be a good thing in some ways but learning from it is and ,just sometimes, try and look at things that upset you through the other person’s eyes. In my dream,he thought he was being so kind and thoughtful and generous and he was but he had taken something away that I needed to shore up my sense of being an equal. Enjoy the day to come and ,in a free moment ,mull over my words and think, just think.

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